Average eyes making average observations.
I see some kids with the ugliest and dumbest tattoos, with unflattering piercings and think to myself, what the fuck happened? Their hormones raging as hard as they drink. All of them fucking each other warm and waking up in sheets not their own.
Some of them have eyes with the brightest stars in them. And dreams within grasp. They are our future. There’s so much potential to be claimed. At times I feel out of place amongst my peers, other times I am right where I should be. (More of a mental factor when i’m not laughing at farts or self-humiliation.) Hey, some of us are late bloomers.
Someone once told me, “you know how dejá vu happens, its the universe telling you that you’re right where you should be.” Really? A random occurrence where one has lived this insignificant moment is happening again? Hah. For instance, I was sitting with Renee in her living room watching whatever-dvd and having a blah-blah conversation when I suddenly exclaim that I was having dejá vu. Now, from what I gather I recognized this moment as such because everyone was sitting where they were and I looked in someone’s direction a certain way and boom, its dejá vu. Nothing spectacular, nothing conclusive. Just my brain flashing a dream I’ve had once before.
That’s how your mind sorts memories, you know. It jumbles all of your experiences and personal thoughts into a movie behind closed lids. Most of the time they are odd, and when explaining a dream you’ve had to someone you realize 3 sentences in, you are halfway retarded. We all have dreams and aspirations, we go about our lives they way we see fit. I’m an odd combination of emotions and ideas. I feel like I’m almost too jaded to care now. Optimistic yet cynical, childish and classy. I’m many things, and somewhere in my life something taught me balance. I’m not sure where or when I picked it up but. I feel lucky in my (sometimes) rational behavior. And yet, I still have so much more to learn and a LOT more to see. Barely a 20-something and I feel like I’m already 50. I think we all need some sort of balance. Whether it means financial, environmental, emotional, or even internal. If we can somehow juggle the madness and cope, I think everyone would get along just a smidge better. Don’t you think?
I realize this entry is sporadic, touching random things, (that’s what she said) I’ll probably edit a few more times this week before I leave it alone.
